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October 23, 2001
Ned: Jax, you've obviously been out of circulation a little too long.
Jax: Ah, Kristina, you're sporting a new look.
Skye: Excuse me, could you pay attention here?
Kristina: I'll explain everything later, Jax. I think that we should go right now.
Ned: No! This is my house. I am not going to stand outside while Jax has a romantic interlude with my cousin the barracuda.
Skye: Ugh!
Jax: What?
Skye: You think that I'm making some sort of play for this guy? His button got tangled in my sweater.
Ned: Oh.
Kristina: That sounds pretty kinky.
Ned: Hey, pal, you need to know what you're getting into.
Skye: Oh, fine, Ned! We're having meaningless sex. Now, you can either leave or watch.
[Ned doesn't respond]
Skye: I came by to visit you, and Jax jumped me.
Jax: Hey, you don't look the worse for wear.
Skye: You're the one who ended up on your back.
Ned: No need for details.
Jax: Here's an etiquette tip, knock before entering, ok?
Skye: No.
Jax: Yes.
Kristina: You two seemed to be getting along pretty nicely when we came in.
Skye: I was seeing Jax out when his button got caught on my sweater.
Jax: Yes, and we couldn't get it untangled.
Ned: Right.
Skye: You made it worse.
Jax: So I did the gentlemanly thing and removed my shirt to facilitate the freeing of the button.
Skye: Well, I certainly was not about to take off my sweater.
Kristina: You are really cranky. You know that?
Ned: That's her, cranky and deceitful. Now, if I remember correctly, you told me that you were going to do everything you could to get back at me. Is that why you broke into this house when it was clear that I wasn't home?
Skye: Not only are you shallow and self-centered, but you're also paranoid.
Kristina: That is no way to treat your cousin.
Skye: Oh, spare me, please. If you're dim enough to buy Ned's act, you deserve the inevitable rude awakening.
Ned: Temper, temper.
Jax: See, Skye is only irritated because I would have nothing to do with her harebrained scheme.
Skye: Harebrained?
Kristina: Oh, I love that word.
Ned: What harebrained scheme?
Jax: Oh, it's the part where I team up with her to get back at Sonny.
Ned: Oh. Well, I like the getting back at Sonny part.
Skye: Well, see?
Ned: I don't like the teaming up with Skye in order to do it.
Jax: Yes, my sentiments exactly.
Skye: Now, hey, wait a minute!
Ned: You see, cousin Skye is after Sonny because he saw right through her. She tried to use him to destroy our family and he blew her off, and now her ego is a little bruised. Frankly, I think she overestimates her feminine wiles.
Skye: I'm motivated by my concern for AJ. You know, you ought to try it sometime.
Ned: I stopped worrying about AJ long ago.
Skye: Ah, there you go again, always so ready to believe the worst about AJ, just like you were so willing to accept that he was off on some binge without ever bothering to investigate.
Ned: I didn't have to. I heard the truth from the bartender who returned his car keys. He was stinking drunk when he staggered off.
Skye: No, you heard what Sonny paid the bartender to say.
Ned: Oh, is that AJ's theory, or is that something you came up with on your own?
Skye: Oh, Sonny was covering the fact that he grabbed AJ and had him held in an abandoned meat locker! Yeah, he wouldn't let him go until he signed away all his parental rights.
Ned: Well, is that Junior's version?
Skye: It's the truth.
Ned: What did you just say about accepting the truth without investigating?
Skye: You know, I can't believe you! I have just told you that AJ was coerced into signing away his child, and all you can do is stand there and smirk at me?
Ned: Obviously, you don't have all the information.
Skye: No, I have all the information I need, and there is no way that Sonny Corinthos is going to get away with this.
Jax: Can I, can I just say something?
Skye: No, I heard your opinion, thank you very much.
Jax: You know, getting involved with Sonny will only get you in trouble.
Ned: And then I'll have to come in and save you, and frankly, I would rather stay home and read my book.
Jax: What are you reading?
Ned: A courtroom drama by a terrific new author.
Jax: Really? That's good.
Skye: Oh, my god! You guys are useless! Forget you both! I will get Sonny Corinthos on my own.
[Skye throws Jax's shirt at him and storms out]
Jax: Ouch, thank you. My shirt.
Ned: Your button got tangled in Skye's sweater?
Jax: Yes, you, you saw it yourself.
Ned: Yeah. So, for your button to get tangled in her sweater that would mean that you would have to be near Skye. Now, even for you, that is daredevil behavior.
Jax: Granted, Skye is unpleasant, ok?
Kristina: And spiteful and perpetually unhappy.
Jax: You know, you used to be more open-minded and understanding towards people. What has Skye ever done to you?
Kristina: Skye is a woman who hates other women, probably because she's manipulative and insecure...
Ned: Very perceptive.
Kristina: Not that I really care, thank you very much. Skye has been incredibly rude to me since the minute I met her. I wouldn't really care about it except for the fact that she lives right up Ned's driveway and barges in whenever she feels like it, spewing insults...
Ned: Another very charming attribute of hers, no respect for privacy.
Kristina: You know that Skye basically accused me of being an underaged groupie?
Jax: Well, I wonder what gave her that idea.
Kristina: You know, I didn't throw in her face the truth because I promised you and Alexis I would keep my identity a secret, which, when you think about it, means that all this is your fault.
Jax: Oh.
[Kristina chuckles]
Ned: At last.
Kristina: At last, at last what?
Ned: Someone finally has the good sense to blame Jax for something. See, now, most women aren't nearly that astute.
Kristina: I resent that.
Jax: Oh, good for you.
Kristina: Just because Jax is, is tall and handsome and athletic with turquoise eyes, a killer accent, his own private jet, a yacht...
Ned: Are you going somewhere with this?
Kristina: All I'm saying is that just because Jax is an international playboy, it has no relevance on whether or not he's a good person.
Jax: Well, thank you.
Kristina: Most of the time he tries to help people.
Ned: And the rest of the time he's trying to steal their money.
Jax: Well, the object of corporate raiding is to turn a profit.
Kristina: All I'm saying is I don't see Jax as a symbol. I see him as a person. You know, he's neither a chivalrous would-be rescuer who's constantly in search of a damsel in distress...
Ned: Sound familiar?
Kristina: Any more than he is your average corporate, heartless shark.
Jax: Actually, I am a corporate, heartless shark most of the time.
Kristina: And you're also a man who lost someone who is very important to them and every day you try and think of a new way to not miss that person anymore. Some days it works, some days it works less. Fact is, Jax, the missing is never going to go away and just because you can't help this person, you can't save them, you try and help and save other people, not that you'd ever admit it. You know, you're always laughing it off, turning it into a big game, taking chances. I guess it's better than just sitting around feeling sorry for yourself, though.
Jax: I think so.
Kristina: Which is why I'm doing exactly what you say and I'm prancing around in this wig and looking utterly ridiculous. I mean, come on, look at me. I look like a fool, making the world think that Ned Ashton is hanging out with some blue-haired rocker when, in reality, you know Ned Ashton is your corporate, stodgy, average...
Ned: Generous host who not only opened his home to you, but took you out for a drink and allowed himself to be dragged up onstage.
Jax: Oh, no, no, no. Don't fall for the dragging-up-onstage routine. See, he loves to get up there and entertain.
Kristina: Which is why I gave him the chance to do it. Which is also why you need to take this chance to go after Skye.
Jax: Where'd that come from?
Kristina: Well, you keep warning her, you know, and she doesn't listen to so you're going to warn her again and again, just like you do to me. It's a compulsion with you, Jax. You can't help yourself.
Ned: Yeah. Try, ok? Because Skye, my cousin, is nothing but trouble.
Jax: Well, she deserves to know what she's getting into.
Ned: And so do you. She's not to be trusted.
Jax: Who said anything about trusting her? Look, guys, thanks for your concern, but I really got to go.
Ned: You're right. You know he's going straight up to the mansion, what an idiot.
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